Monday, October 12, 2009

New Award Ideas For Obama

No president should have to settle for a devalued Nobel Peace prize. If Carter and Gore have already won it, it ain't worth much. Here are some more award ideas for our dear peacock.

Clunker Auto Sales Award - That "fantastic" summer had a big September hangover. Since when is it it a good idea to encourage more consumer debt AND destroy perfectly good cars?

Double Digit Unemployment Award- How's that hopey changey thing workin' out for ya? Maybe Obama will try and graciously share this one with Bush, but unemployment was only 6.5% at the time of Obama's election.

Bill Ayers Writing Ribbon- Since Obama is always willing to share and give credit where credit is due.

Two Cy Young Awards - One for each league, based on the lefty's 58 foot lob to open the 2009 All Star game. It's 60 feet to home plate, but don't let that phase you, just change the rules. 60 feet is obviously a legacy of the failed Bush era.

An Oscar- Best actor award, for impersonating a president (HT: Rick Wiese)

The Caldecott Medal- Barack Obama- Son of Promise, Child of Hope. Illustrated children's book.

Lowest Common Denominator Award- Remember the eighty-twenty rule? It's not fair. So lets's split everything fifty-fifty - with Uncle Sam. He knows how to spend my money better than I do.

Careful Accounting Award- For doing such a good job of keeping track of where the bailout and stimulus money has gone.

Teleprompter Award- No explanation necessary.

Olympic Gold Medal - based on the results of Obama's fruitful Chicago Olympic bid. With the devalued dollar, he will need to take over more cases of cash next time.

The Government Can Award- Because who knows how to manage things better than the government?

Bomb the Moon Medal- Bush forgot to, but Obama fixed that oversight.

Global Cooling Ice Sculpture- based on low temperatures and the fact that the Rockies/Phillies game was snowed out.

Open Government Award
- Thanks for posting all bills online and allowing open debate.

Payday Loan Medallion- Borrow all you want and don't worry. It's our kid's problem. Medallion made in China.

DMV Style Medal- Health Care DMV style? Sign me up!

Club Gitmo T-Shirt- Since Obama has done such a fine job keeping his promise to shut down Guantanamo. Free award from a lovable fuzzball.

The Levy is Dry Award- Based on zero visits to Louisiana. It almost makes you think that he doesn't care about red states.

Beer Summit Award- Cheers to a post-racial America! Beer covers a multitude of sins. This must have been a Biden suggestion.

Change You Can Believe In Award- For what's left in America's pocket.

So Long and Thanks for all the Fish Award- To be presented by Harry Reid and a few other congress members in 2010.

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